Time stops for Nobody!

Have you ever noticed that the older you get, the faster time seems to fly by? Birthdays come quicker, and Lord knows it was just Summer and now I have to take out my winter clothes and prepare for the holidays once again! Time doesn’t stand still for anyone, no matter who you are, or how badly you just need a minute to breathe. Then the next thing you know, you look up and all of the sudden you look back to when you were in High School and its been just about 20 years since you’ve graduated! Where did the time go anyway?

Twenty years is a long time! It seems even longer when you have spent that amount of time harboring feelings and memories of the past. What if your life has been secretly filled with unforgiveness, and you have been living a wretched, bitter life pointing your finger in blame at another person for what they did to you and how they have hurt you? Most often we feel justified in that blame and hold others totally responsible for the reason that we are the way we are today.

For 20 years I blamed my life’s problems on my father, because he abused me, and because of the choices that I went on to make as a result of the abuse. I spent 20 years being imprisoned by unforgiveness, and bitterness that had enveloped my whole entire being. Every choice that I went on to make in my life became stained as result of classifying myself as a victim.

I have lived a complicated life full of ups and downs that were vastly out of my control as a little girl. My entire life was something of a roller coaster ride, but even when the ride would appear to slow down at times throughout my life, the ride never seemed to come to an end. Then it was like new tracks were being continually added to this coaster in my life as I faced new and unexpected twists and turns that threw me in a direction that I was never prepared for!

I found myself waiting for the ride to come to an end so that I could get off, but much to my surprise each time I passed the unloading area of the coaster, I realized I was trapped on a ride that perpetually rode on! Once again hearing the click, click, click of that old track beneath me, I knew I would soon be nearing the top of that monstrous hill all over again.

I anticipated the brief pause at the top of the coaster where for a moment the rider can see for miles around and in every direction because everything at that moment appears to be very clear! It was there that I would get a chance to see where to go from there, and know where to go once the ride was over.

For a split second in time when you reach the top of that hill, you can actually lose yourself in the moment and feel as though you are sitting on top of the world! You even find yourself fearlessly raising you’re your arms high above your head so that the gentle breeze can flow through your fingers.

Then without warning you feel a sudden jerk on the car where you are seated. Reaching out for dear life, and just in the nick of time, you grab tightly onto the bar that holds you from falling out of the car as you begin to tip forward over the top of that enormously high hill. Then passing the point of no return, you descend rapidly, plummeting down the first drop of the great coaster!

You’ve ridden this ride before and you think that you know what lies up ahead, but somehow the tracks are not the same this time around and you have no idea what lies beyond this second for you. Fear and panic set in as you scream out loud for someone to stop the ride, but nobody hears you. Instead, your ride whirls on.

It’s dark, then light, then you’re up high and all of the sudden your down low again! Your stomach is in your throat, and all you want to do is get off of the ride! Yet it won’t stop and there doesn’t appear to be any end in sight! All at once everything goes dark, and you close your eyes tight hoping and praying that it will stop.

When you feel the ride slowing down, you open your eyes to see that the cars are pulling underneath the canopy where you initially got onto the ride. You see that there is an exit opposite the side that you got on. Will you get off of the ride this time, or will you miss it again? Even though it looks simple to get on and get off of this roller coaster, you still have to know how to get the coaster to come to a complete stop. Or you will just continue to pass the exit by and wind up riding over and over again.

Is there a familiar ring to this story within your own life? Have you ever been on the ride of your life and not been able to find a way off of it? Scared and panicked, have you made choices that you never should have made, but felt helpless to stop? Nobody seems to hear you when you scream out that you want to get off, but you know deep in your heart that if you could get the ride to stop, you would definitely get off!

I’ve learned that it is up to us when that ride ends, or how long we stay on it. I would venture to say that the ride never really comes to an end on this roller coaster of life until we take the time to learn how to put on the brakes and bring it to a complete halt. How do you do that? By discovering why we are the way that we are today, and by deciding to make right choices no matter how we feel.

It took me many years through the most horrific roller coaster rides in my life to learn that it was up to me how long I would remain on the ride. I always had the ability to get off by making different choices, and yet I ignored what I already knew to do. Things I did throughout my life were based upon the way I felt. I felt like people owed me a special dispensation because I was abused, and somewhere down the line I had developed a victim’s mentality. Overcoming that would be one of the greater challenges of my life.

First and foremost, I thank God for taking everything in my life that I have obliterated with my pathetic, ignorant, rebellious, and selfish choices, and I thank Him that He consistently longs to show me His mercy, grace, and restoration. I have a very colorful past filled with poor choices, but after two failed marriages, and four children later, I went on to be given an opportunity of a lifetime! I hope that you will join me again to share in what that opportunity was! I can’t wait to see you then, and many blessings to you! Have a fabulous day!!!